Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
