everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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