Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
