so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
