I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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