Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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