Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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