Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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