i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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