Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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