So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
