i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
