I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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