If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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