Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
