what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
