Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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