bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
