Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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