I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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