I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
