i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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