Your dad touched me again.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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