just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
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He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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