Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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