I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
