my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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