He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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