You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
