he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize