Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
All the doctor said was why
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
