Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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