ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
