Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
