I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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