...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago