i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
even my farts smell like vagina
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house