Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.