it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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