He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
