New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
