So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
