i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
