I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
