A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
