I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize