Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
