My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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