I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Randomize