bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
