how can u be prego again
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
