I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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