My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
