You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize