Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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