I'm really into asian looking animals
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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