I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
