No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
