i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
